[jeffbobtomsteveParticipant]

This is a mock of what I would do not what I think will happen.

1. Magic – Jabari Smith – I’m Chet’s #1 fan. Jessica Alba passed the torch to Selena Gomez and now Selena has passed the torch to Chet. That being said the pick is Jabari. He’s the only player that plays great defense and can score from anywhere on the floor.

2. OKC – Chet – Oh beautiful skinny baby boy. You sprouted up like a redwood and soon enough you’ll blossom into a mighty Oak with the viciousness of a venus fly trap. We mustn’t forget that you are still in the pupa phase though and there will be bumps in the road early on. I swear to never waiver in my loyalty to you though Chet. Good luck baby boy, all of the thin white men are counting on you.

3. Houston – Ivey – Can’t believe his nickname isn’t poison yet but it will be. I’m not a Paola fan, don’t really see him as a winning player so I’m going with poison and Green to create possibly the most athletic backcourt duo ever.

4. Kings – Sharpe – The Kings have been inept for my entire adult life and this is a tough spot for them. Still don’t like Paola, Keegan is an option, Griffin might not be crazy but ultimately daddy doesn’t mind taking a little risk, especially when that risk can’t lead to herpes.

5. Det – Paolo – Really like Paolo, wish I could’ve squeezed him in earlier but luckily he’d actually be a great offensive fit with Cade.

6. Ind – Keegan – Live 45 minutes away from U of Iowa and caught a couple games in person. Keegan is gonna be a top 50ish player, upside isn’t crazy but neither is his floor. Gonna use this moment to question why people are so slow to like Kris though. Before he announced his return I never saw him higher than like 50. He basically did 90% of what Keegan did just in fewer minutes.

7. Port – Griffin – The more I stare at their faces I just feel like Griffin has the most upside left. The more I stare at Chet’s face the more I realize I need to change pants.

8. NO – Dyson Daniels – A pretty sexy team if Lavell Crawford… I mean Zion Williamson ever plays. Daniels would be a perfect fit since they already have several score first players.

9. SA – Sochan – Where I would draft him is completely dependent on what hairstyle he was sporting in the green room. This is assuming long and blonde.

10. Wash – TyTy – TyTy would be a huge improvement on Washington’s usual philosophy of loselose. The Kentucky guard success has finally broken me, Booker, Herro, Quickley, Maxey, Murray, and Shai have all outplayed their draft position.

11. NY – J. Davis – This one was tough. Davis, Hardy and Mathurin all have their merits. They would all be good additions to a team that has no merits to speak of, Knicks suck.

12. OKC – Mathurin – Building around Chet, Poku and to a lesser extent SGA I think a good shooter/scorer would help open things up.

13. Hornets – Hardy – Low key a big draft for the Hornets this year with the two first round picks and a solid young core pushing towards the playoffs. Hardy wasn’t that good in the G league but LaMelo wasn’t that good in Australia playing against a bunch of koala bears so what the fuck do I know.

14. Cavs – Ochai – Sexland is getting a little old and played out now that they’ve been together for more than a couple years just like most sex related things. Ochai should be a great fit though, should be able to help get it up, it being win totals obviously.

15. Hornets – Mark Williams – I’m a sucker for keeping guys in state or pairing them with former teammates or when hookers tell me they love me for my personality.

16. Atl – Dieng – Here’s my Tucker Carlson impression. Giannis went 15th, Dieng goes 16th, does this mean anything? Are they the same player? I’m just asking the questions the liberal media is too afraid to ask. Also why do black people need to live in my neighborhood, weren’t we in America first?

17. Houston – Eason – The Rockets are officially ready to blast off. Ivey blast off, Green blast off, Eason blast off, Sengun take your time, do as many pump fakes as you need to.

18. Bulls – Duren – Don’t really value players without skill, I guess I’m just weird like that. Reminds me a lot of Derrick Favors. All I can think of is that matchup with Chet where Chet’s team came out on top and Chet was manhandling him in the paint and Duren started crying.

19. Min – Liddell – Little known fact, EJ stands for Extremely Juicy and his middle name is Roleplayer. Extremely Juicy Roleplayer Liddell.

20. SA – Nikola Jovic – I feel like if someone were named LeBron Janes we’d rank him a little higher. Reverse racism is real, it’s just not quite as life impacting as good old fashioned normal racism.

21. Den – Beauchamp – Jovic went one pick too early but I love me some Beauchamp. A big time athlete could really help Jokic put up some solid assist numbers.

22. Mem – Jalen Williams – Not to be confused with prospect Jaylin Williams, motorcycle enthusiast Jay Williams, murderer Jayson Williams or white person Jayson Williams.

23. Phil – Branham – Harden hasn’t quit on a team in over 50 days so it should be coming sometime this offseason, possibly before the draft. Either way Branham is good value this late, he could just as easily go as high as 14 to the Cavs.

24. Mil – Braun – Watching Grayson Allen play a healthy amount of minutes for a championship contender was rough. In college he was well known for tripping others but in the NBA he is well known for tripping himself on all layup attempts. Braun is a legit athlete and can hit open shots just fine.

25. SA – McGowens – As in Bryce not Trey. Saw one mock draft that had a picture of Trey, better believe I closed that tab right away and called the Better Business Bureau. Actually know a guy that tutored Bryce and said he “wasn’t big into homework” but if he matures he is dripping with talent.

26. Dallas – Pat Baldwin Jr. – PBJ’s game was chunky as fuck last year but if he can get back to the creamy high school days he could legitimately be a top 3 player on this contender. Respect Luka.

27. Heat – K. Brown – At this point there’s always 10 guys that make some sense and I feel like Brown’s hair game could be stronger playing alongside Sochan but he seems like a guy that can thrive under Heat culture.

28. GSW – Nembhard – I could easily go with Chandler instead, most people would, but Nembhard has more size and is more suited to play right away. My one knock on Nembhard is that he didn’t pass enough to Chet but on the Warriors that won’t matter as much since there’s no Chet level talents.

29. Mem – Minott – John Hollinger has Minott as his 10th rated prospect and he used to work for the Grizzlies. I ate some salt that I found in my bath and still couldn’t get high enough to draft him top 10 but this seems like a worthy gamble with their second pick.

30. OKC – Kamagate – Feel like they should have one big guy that weighs over 200 lbs. Kamagate apparently owned Victor Whosyourmama in their head to head match, that’s good enough for me at pick 30.

31. Ind – Kessler – The pacers have drifted away from their all white guys strategy lately but Kessler falling into the second round is the gateway drug back to a more “pure” style of basketball.

32. Orl – Dalen Terry – A Jalen/Dalen backcourt is fun. Second round comments might get a little lazier.

33. Tor – L. Miller – Getting drafted by the only Canadian team would be ideal for Miller, he shouldn’t have to worry about learning a new language on top of learning the teams plays and what not.

34. OKC – Blake Wesley – Depth Chart: PG SGA, Mann
SG Mathurin, Wesley
SF Giddey, Dort
PF Poku, JRE
C Chet, Kamagate
Can you say NBA champions 2027?

35. Orl – Koloko – The magic love length even more than my bitch of an ex wife and Koloko would be a cheap Bamba replacement.

36. Port – W. Moore – Two Duke small forwards one draft one cup, don’t google it.

37. Sac – Caleb Houstan – Houstan we have multiple problems. Problem number one, you ended up in Sacramento. Problem number two, you might not be good enough to make Sacramento’s roster.

38. SA – Kennedy Chandler – First round talent but not many teams need a point guard and the Lakers, who are one team that doesn’t have a top 30 point guard, doesn’t have a pick.

39. Cavs – G. Procida – Future Cedi Osman replacement, somehow with a dumber face. Only reason I need the damn create a mock is so people can see the faces, helps my material.

40. Min – Jean Montero – He looked like one of the better players in the Hoops Summit game, quick shout out to Mongolian Mike from that game. Mongolian Mike is a prospect in the future with a nickname from our shameful past.

41. NO – John Butler – Get this man some Cajun food! The fun house mirror frontcourt of Butler and Zion was just to fun to pass on.

42. NY – Peyton Watson – Part of me just wants to write Watson off since he only scored 3 points per game in college, then while I was checking his stats I noticed he still had braces in his picture. Other guys have done nothing as a freshman then still had good careers, Deandre Jordan and Jrue Holiday come to mind.

43. LAC – Hugo Besson – The Clippers have been a theoretical title contender since they acquired their two big stars. This pick should be someone that can help them right away since they’ll either be contending for a title or fighting for an 8 seed.

44. Atl – Max Christie – Max Christie’s freshman year made Chris Christie’s presidential campaign look like a success in comparison. Fortunately for Max he has more than 5 years left to live so his potential is higher than Chris’.

45. Char – Jake LaRavia – Michael Jordan might just see too much of himself in LaRavia to pass him up.

46. Det – Keels – To this day write ups will still talk about that one good game he had against Kentucky back in November as if he broke Duke’s all time scoring record. Well I’m here to talk about the rest of his season, he was Duke’s fifth or sixth best player and still couldn’t hit shots efficiently from anywhere on the floor.

47. Mem – Jaylin Williams – He has the unique distinction of leading the nation in charges taken, his value is fairly tied to referees loving to make the flamboyant charge call.

48. Min – Julien Champagnie – Pop that Champagie Minnesota, a solid second round shooter was the last piece of the puzzle.

49. Sac – Diabate – Basically the exact same write up as Caleb Houstan but hopefully with a good diabetes joke woven it.

50. Min – Ryan Rollins – Does anybody remember when the Clippers wasted a lottery pick on Jerome Robinson, Rollins reminds me of him. Hall of fame terrible in the moment picks of my lifetime, 1. Flynn 2. Papagiannis 3. Not picking Luka three times 4. Robinson.

51. GSW – Juzang – The Warriors have had mild success with players that were thought to be one dimensional shooters in the past.

52. NO – I. Mobley – That’s right casual draft fans, this is Evan Mobley’s older brother. Younger siblings always seem to be more talented, that’s why I aborted my first born.

53. Bos – Bryson Williams – He’s 24 but the Celtics window is now so it makes sense to find a contributor. Plus one more Williams couldn’t hurt.

56. Wash – Dom Barlow – Going from overtime elite to the Wizards could be quite a large adjustment for Barlow, the surrounding talent level of his teammates could be shockingly lower than what he was used to last year.

57. GSW – Seabron – As in LeBron when he goes out on his boat and can’t shoot or pass because of the waves, actually a decent comparison.

58. Cavs – Scotty Pippen Jr – If anything getting Scotty Sr in the building is good for ticket sales. Maybe they can put Ron Harper Jr on a two way and get some 90’s Bulls nostalgia going.

59. Port – Kofi Cockburn or Kalifa Diop – They seem the same. Plus it doesn’t really matter, it’s not like it’s 1992 and these players can play more than 10 minutes a game.

60. Ind – Brady Manek – This is the best fit in the entire draft. Larry legend reincarnate.

Top 10 guys on most other mocks that I couldn’t squeeze in, no order:
Nzosa – Top 10 preseason guy, now not even a lock to be drafted or stay in the draft.
Jabari Walker – Being Samaki Walker’s kid doesn’t get you drafted the way being Scotty Pippen’s kid does.
Aminu Mohammed – Actually had him in my mock until I realized I forgot about the two forfeited picks.
Justin Lewis – Just seems too boring, think he’s a tweener in all the wrong ways.
JD Davidson – Reminds me of Elfrid Payton.
Trevion Williams – Really don’t get him as a prospect, undersized, super unathletic, not a shooter.
Roddy – Everyone’s favorite pudgeball except mine apparently.
Orlando Robinson – Another seemingly boring prospect.
Alondis Williams – I might be the only person clamoring for a third round because I actually feel like Alondis is an NBA player, but there’s only 58 picks dammit.
M. Foster – Anyone with the nickname “Bone collector” should be drafted, if I weren’t so tired of this I’d probably take Kofi/Diop out and put Foster in.

[NorrinRaddParticipant]

It’s a one of a kind alright… thank you for sharing your extended mock draft!!!

[HitsterParticipant]

+1 for the Lavell Crawford joke and anything involving Stringbean Butler. The best one I hadn’t used was GSW draft him and the Splash twins lob meatballs into his mouth from 3 point line.

A few guys we’d differ on in 2nd round but most guys seem in the right areas of the drafts and I like explanations for the picks too. So want the mock draft facility to create your own to work on here as there is so much formatting to do otherwise but I will have to get my own mock up eventually.

[Author]

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